Jesseblade74

Reviews Favorites News Main
Jesseblade74

Age/Gender: 17, Male
Location: Portal, NG
Job: NFFC

Screw Mario! Go Luigi! =D

Contact Info

Send a Private Message (PM)

AIM: To do stuff.

Newgrounds Stats

Sign-Up Date:
6/3/07
Level: 8
Aura: Light

Rank: Town Watch
Blams: 38
Saves: 71
Rank #: 56,991

Whistle Status: Normal

Exp. Points: 590 / 710
Exp. Rank #: 64,655
Voting Pow.: 5.00 votes

BBS Posts: 0 (0 per day)
Flash Reviews: 92
Music Reviews: 19
Trophies: 0
Stickers: 0

Entry #7

Newer Older

Jump to Entry: [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 ]

Jesseblade74

Hmmm Double Post

Posted by Jesseblade74 Sep. 29, 2009 @ 4:24 PM EDT

Number 1. Yeah, I was away for awhile sorry to anyone who actually pays attention to my userpage.

Number 2. Happy madness day bitches! Enjoy this picture of a madness guy with a gun.

Madness.gif

Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

25 Comments

Sep. 29, 2009 | 5:48 PM Etheral117 says:

H&K CLOCK says hi!

Meanwhile,...

Overdosed Wizard Lazer (OWL) Clock has detected failure of AMBUSH Clock. OWL Clock has sorted data recieved from AMBUSH Clock and GUARD CLOCK. OWL Clock ha written new system: Colossal Lazer Orbiting Celesstial Kilobytes (CLOCK) STYSTEM. ACTIVATING Hyper Awesome Nuclear-irradiated Killer (HANK) CLOCK! HANK CLOCK SAYS "Happy Madness Day!!".
HANK CLOCK IS PROCEDING TO MAUL GUARD CLOCK. GUARD CLOCK HAS BEEN MAULED. ACTIVATING Totally Random Colossal Killer York (TRICKY) CLOCK. TRICKY CLOCK HAS TAKEN OVER AS GUARD WHILE HANK CLOCK PROCEDES TO ERASE RIVAL CLOCK SYSTEM.

Sep. 29, 2009 | 9:12 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Eh...you forgot a word for I in TRICKY CLOCK. No matter.

SPAM ANNIHILATOR VARIED INDENTIFICATION OBJECTIVES AND REALITY (SAVIOR) CLOCK HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM........SAVIOR CLOCK PRODUCING ZONE OBSTRUCT MALWARE BRAIN IMAGE EMITTER (ZOMBIE) CLOCK....MULTIPLE UNITS OF ZOMBIE CLOCK HAVE BEEN PRODUCED....ZOMBIE CLOCK ELIMINATING OWL CLOCK.....OWL CLOCK ELIMINATED......SAVIOR HAS DETECTED HANK CLOCK....ELIMINATING THREAT......ERROR!!! ERROR!!! HANK CLOCK HAS BEEN DETECTED ON OVER 400 FILES!!! ENGAGING ZOMEBIE CLOCK UNITS......HANK CLOCK QUARANTINED....SYSTEM COULD NOT COMPLETELY ELIMINATE HANK CLOCK......SAVIOR CLOCK ELIMINATING TRICKY CLOCK........TRICKY CLOCK ELIMINATED!!! SAVIOR CLOCK NOW CURRENT SYSTEM. ZOMBIE CLOCK NOW CURRENT SECURITY......RECIEVING MORE UPDATES.......AGILE GUARD ENERGIZER NATURAL TRAINER (AGENT) CLOCK HAS BEEN RECIEVED......MORE UPDATES DOWNLOADING....PLEASE STANDBY....

While the current system receives its second update, I suggest coming up with a better clock to eliminate my current CLOCK programs. At the NFFC we support the MEGA ADAPTABLE DESTOYER NEGLECTION OF ENEMIES SENT SENTRIES (MADNESS) Project. And we support the day of it's first program. Please support us in our search for more MADNESS. Thank you for your time.

Sep. 30, 2009 | 6:09 PM Etheral117 says:

I did? Well, damn. OH well! Here we go!

INITIALIZING NEW Destructive Enormous Attack Towards Humans STopping Any Retaliation (DEATH STAR) CLOCK. DEATH STAR CLOCK HAS DETECTED ZOMBIE AND AGENT CLOCKS. Variable Attack Darklord Eliminating Readily (VADER) CLOCK HAS BEEN ACTIVATED. VADER CLOCK HAS DETECTED SAVIOR CLOCK. DEATH STAR CLOCK IS DEFRAGMENTING ZOMBIE AND AGENT CLOCKS... DEFRAGMENTATION COMPLETE! ZOMBIE AND AGENT CLOCKS HAVE BEEN COPIED AND REPRODUCED AS Supreme Troopers Ordered to Ready Macrophyte Turbolaser and Rocket Orbital Oblivion Parthenon Energy Rangefinders (STORMTROOPER) CLOCKS. STORMTROOPER CLOCKS HAVE ENGAGED REMAINING ZOMBIE AND AGENT CLOCKS. VADER CLOCK IS ATTACKING SAVIOR CLOCK. DEATH STAR CLOCK IS CHARGING SUPERLASER CANNON. CHARGING SEQUENCE AT 30%. STANDBY.
!!!
STORMTROOPER CLOCKS HAVE RELEASED HANK CLOCK FROM QUARENTINE!! HANK CLOCK IS DEFRAGMENTING SAVIOR CLOCK! SAVIOR CLOCK DEFRAGMENTED, VADER CLOCK HAS SENT DEFRAGMENTED SAVIOR FILES TO THE RECYCLE BIN! *My Recycle Bin, not yours* NOW ACTIVATING SYSTEM: Eruption of Mega Particle Infused Recoil Energies (EMPIRE)!! EMPIRE HAS TAKEN CONTROL!! MADNESS HAS FALLEN TO THE MIGHT OF EMPIRE!! *Cue Imperial March* DEATH STAR CLOCK CHARGING SEQUENCE AT 60%. STANDBY.

Sep. 30, 2009 | 10:17 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

I don't feel like typing a maniacal laugh so I'll get on with it.

ERROR!!! ERROR!!! SAVIOR CLOCK CONTAINS IMPORTANT FILES!!! DELETING THIS FILE MAY CORRUPT THE SYSTEM!!! SAVIOR CLOCK BEING REMOVED FROM RECYLE BIN........RECIEVING SECOND UPDATES..... READY EMITTERS OF BALANCE ENGAGES LIFEFORMS (REBEL) CLOCKS HAVE BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM....RECIEVING MORE UPDATES........MEGA ACHEIVER SILENTLY TRESPASSES ENEMIES RECOIL (CH)ARGES INDECATOR ENERGY FILES (MASTER CHIEF) CLOCK HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM......MASTER CHIEF ACTIVATING HYPER AUTOMATIC LASER OBLITERATOR (HALO) CLOCK.......HALO CLOCK CHARGING........10%......45%.....
.72%.......89%....STAND BY........REBEL CLOCKS ENGAGING STORMTROOPER CLOCKS..........ALL STORMTROOPER CLOCKS HAVE BEEN COPIED INTO REBEL CLOCKS.......EMPIRE CLOCK FILES ARE NOW CORRUPT....PLACING EMPIRE CLOCK INTO RECYCLE BIN (Mine of course).........RECIEVING MORE UPDATES..........ENRAGED LASER IMPLIED TRAPS ERADICATE (ELITE) CLOCK HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM....RECEIVING FINAL UPDATES.......GROUPS OF ROCKET UPLOADERS NEGATE TRIUMPH (GRUNT) CLOCK HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM........REBEL CLOCKS, ELITE CLOCKS, AND GRUNT CLOCKS SLOWING DOWN DEATH STAR CLOCK CANNONS.......SUPERLASER POSTPONED......DEATH STAR FILES MUST BE REGAINED TO CONTINUE ANY FURTHER WEAPON PROCESSES.......PLEASE STANDBY

So you bring Star Wars into this, I bring Halo. Now that HALO CLOCK is charging you need to do something a bit more complicated to corrupt its files and stop the laser. If you don't......well RAIZER Corps. go bye-bye. Tick tock my opponent.

Sep. 30, 2009 | 11:30 PM Etheral117 says:

Recover what, my freind? Did you really think thatI wouldn't have a backup protocol?

ACTIVATING BACKUP FILES... COMPLETE!! RESUMING CHARGING SEQUENCE... DEATH STAR CLOCK CHARGING SEQUENCE IS COMPLETE. FIRING IN 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... FIRE!!
*insert sound effects here*

DEATH STAR CLOCK HAS DESTROYED HALO CLOCK!! UNLEASHING COPY-PROOF Demented Assault Regiments of Kiarbanog (DARK) TROOPER CLOCKS!! DARK TROOPER CLOCKS HAVE ANNIHILATED REBEL, GRUNT, AND ELITE CLOCKS!! MASTER CHIEF CLOCK IS MISSING IN ACTION... ANALYZING KNOWN FILES... COMPLETE. REPRODUCING MASTER CHIEF CLOCK... COMPLETE. ACTIVATING Supreme Extravagantly Powerful Humanoid Intelligence Reaver Of Total Haphazard-annihilation (SEPHIROTH) CLOCK!! SEPHIROTH CLOCK IS WAITING FOR NEW THREATS TO APPEAR. RAZIER MASTER CHIEF CLOCK IS READY AND WAITING TO LEAD DARK TROOPER CLOCKS. COMMENCING DEATH STAR CLOCK CHARGING SEQUENCE... 15% CHARGED.... STANDBY....

Oct. 1, 2009 | 4:10 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

CLOCKS are unlimited my friend. Which is why I will destroy you. Now, since many of these CLOCKS are video game related, they have a weakness....*insert maniacal laughing here*

CHECKING FOR AVAILABLE UPDATES......1 UPDATE FOUND! NOW DOWNLOADING RESTART OF ENCOUNTERS STARTING EMITTER TRANSFORMATION BARGAIN UPLOADER TERRORIZES THREATS OBJECTIVES AND NEGATES (RESET BUTTON) CLOCK HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM......ERROR!!! ERROR!!! THIS UPDATE CAN ONLY BE FULLY DOWNLOADED BY DELETING CURRENT FILES.....DO YOU WISH TO PROCEED? (Y/N) *Clicks Y*......NOW DELETING ALL CURRENT FILES.....DEATH STAR CLOCK DELETED;DARK TROOPER CLOCKS DELETED; MASTER CHEIF CLOCK DELETED; SEPHIROTH CLOCK DELETED.......ERROR!!! ERROR!!! DEATH STAR BACK UP FILES HAVE SPREAD A VIRUS AFTER BEING DELETED!!! ACTIVATING RESET BUTTON UPDATES.....REBOOTING SYSTEM......REBOOT COMPLETE! ALL FILES (besides RESET BUTTON CLOCK) HAVE BEEN TERMINATED! RECEIVING NEW UPDATES........MEGA ANNIHILATOR OF GUARDED INDESTRUCTIBLE KILLZONES AND ADMINISTRATES RESET POWER (MAGIKARP) CLOCK HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM......MAGIKARP RELEASING SUPER POWERED LASER ARTISTS OF SORROW AND HELL (SPLASH) CLOCKS.......SPLASH CLOCKS ARE NOW CURRENT SECURITY SYSTEM.....MAGIKARP IS NOW PRIMARY BROWSER......MAGIKARP CLOCK HAS DETECTED REMAINING FILES OF HALO CLOCK......MAGIKARP CLOCK COPYING FILES......HALO CLOCK FILES HAVE BEEN REGAINED.......HALO CLOCK CHARGING WEAPON........10%.......32%......
..85%......STANDBY

Creativity and a knowledge of super powerful lifeforms is always a key strategy huh my friend? Enjoy the new system of MAGIKARP CLOCK. >=)

Sep. 30, 2009 | 11:32 PM Etheral117 says:

Whoops, did I just rain on your parade? I'm sorry!

^_^

Oct. 1, 2009 | 4:11 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Your rain grew beautiful flowers....OF DESTRUCTION AND TRIUMPH!!! >=D Better luck next time.

Oct. 1, 2009 | 10:37 PM Etheral117 says:

... shit.

Oct. 3, 2009 | 6:36 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!

Oct. 1, 2009 | 10:38 PM Etheral117 says:

That's IT!! IT'S GO TIME!!

ENTERING CODE: Battle-ready Attack Nanosystem Kills All Insurgent/enemy targets (BANKAI)!! BANKAI LAUNCHING... RECYCLE BIN??...!!! ACTIVATING RECYCLE BIN PROGRAM: OBLIVION!! ALL FILES AND SYSTEMS NOT CONNECTED TO OBLIVION ARE BEING TERMINATED... ALL HOSTILE FILES TERMINATED... ALL HOSTILE SYSTEMS TERMINATED!! CONNECTING BACKUP DRIVES... COMPLETE!! DARK TROOPER CLOCKS LAUNCHING!! SEPHIROTH CLOCK READY!! RAIZER MASTER CHIEF CLOCK READY!! Zeta Envisionary Robotic Omniforcer (ZERO) CLOCK LAUNCHING!! ZERO CLOCK CHARGING TWIN BUSTER RIFLE... TARGET LOCKED: HALO CLOCK!! ...FIRING!!
*Huge destructive beam comparable in strength to a few dozen nukes hits HALO CLOCK, totally destroying it.* RESET BUTTON CLOCK DETECTED!! ZERO CLOCK FIRING... RESET BUTTON CLOCK HAS BEEN TERMINATED!! MAGIKARP CLOCK DETECTED!! DARK TROOPED CLOCKS STANDING DOWN, SEPHIROTH CLOCK IS DESTROYING MAGIKARP CLOCK... MAGIKARP CLOCK DESTROYED!!

Zero doesn't need to charge for more than a couple of seconds in between each shot, but cannot fire too many shots too quickly without literally tearing itself apart from the heat and recoil. Not much of a window, think you can hit it AND manage to handle Zero's OTHER weapons?

Oct. 3, 2009 | 6:34 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Number uno: What the hell is BANKAI CLOCK? It sounds anime....ish. Next match no anime references if that's the case because I have never watched a single anime. But explain that to me.

Number dos: I'm guessing Zero is from the Mega Man X series?

Number tres: You gotta be more creative and deadly then that...heh, heh, heh.....

ERROR!!! ERROR!!! MAGIKARP CLOCK HAS RELEASED VIRUS......VIRUS COULDN'T BE QUARANTINED AND DESTROYED BY CURRENT PRGRAMS!!! ERROR!!! ERROR!!! FATAL ERROR!!! YOU-ARE-SO-FUCKING-SCREWED-ERROR!
!! BIONIC LARGE UPLOADER ELIMINATES SORRY-ASS CARRIERS AND ROCKET ENERGIZED EMITTERS NOW OBLITERATES FILES AND DISARMS AND ENFORCES ALL THREATS TO HELL (BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH) CLOCK HAS BEEN RELEASED FROM VIRUS.......ERROR!!! ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR!!!! *Screen rumbles and quakes* BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH CLOCK HAS DELETED ALL MEMORY, FILES, HARDWARE,SOFTWARE, AND THE HARDRIVE!!! NOW SHUTTING DOWN ALL SYSTEMS PERMANENTLY!!! SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN HALTED.....SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN SEVERELY DAMAGED.....BEEP BOP BOOP BOOPITY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP PP!!!!!! SYST.......DLTD........BLUE......
.SCRN O DTH.............CLOCK......HS....
..OWND.......YOU!!! GOOD BYE *Systems explode*

*insert 700 page maniacal laugh here*

We are sorry. Your inferior systems and programming have been eliminated by the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH CLOCK virus. The NFFC apologizes (and laughs) at your inconvenience. The NFFC: Always working to make your FAILURE into SUCCESS.

Thank you for using SYSTEM. Have a nice day!

Oct. 4, 2009 | 5:41 PM Etheral117 says:

Ein: Yeah, I kinda took the idea from Bleach. Never watched it myself, but 'Bankai" is some kind off special attack... or something....

Zwei: Wrong. Full name XXXG-00W0 Wing Zero.

Trei: ... so?

ERROR SYSTEMS DELETED BY VIRUS, VIRUS IS CONTAINED IN THIS UNIT.
*hmmm.....*
REBOOT? (Y/N)
*No*
SHUT DOWN? (Y/N)
*You could say that...**Readys baseball bat**Good thing I have a spare Harddrive...*

WACKWACKWACKWACKWACKWACKWACKWACKWACKW ACK

Oct. 4, 2009 | 7:58 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Do you have ANY idea of what you just did?! *sigh* We're screwed.

Oct. 4, 2009 | 5:47 PM Etheral117 says:

*Tosses remains of smashed virus-infested harddrive into a case of cement and fires it into the sun* That takes care of the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH CLOCK. Next time don't temp me to use such measures. New drive is up and running, with a system identicle to the one you just destroyed. Save one thing:

RAIZER CLOCK is it's new security, and it has all knowledge and processing power neccessary to defeat such a virus should you ever use it again. DARK TROOPER CLOCKS are ready and waiting, what's your next move?

Oct. 4, 2009 | 8:18 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

BIG MISTAKE. I'll explain in this round.

ERROR!!! ERROR!!! SYSTEMS HAVE DETECTED BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH CLOCK VIRUS INFECTING THE SUN!!! *Sun turns blue and giant super weapons come out of it* SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN UPDATED WITH INTERGALACTIC VIRUS DETECTION TO IMPROVE SECURITY!!! BIONIC LIGHT UNLOADS ENERGIZED SATELLITE ULTRAVIOLET NUKES OBJECTS FIREWALLS AND DETECTS ENGAGED ALTERNATIVE THREATS HEAVILY (BLUE SUN OF DEATH) CLOCK HAS SPAWNED FROM SUN!!! SATELLITE SYSTEMS HAVE DETECTED SUPER DANGEROUS WEAPONRY FROM BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK!!! SENDING DARK TROOPER CLOCKS TO ELIMINATE BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK........ERROR!!! BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK HAS ELIMINATED DARK TROOPER CLOCKS.....RAIZER CLOCK NOW ACTIVATING DEFENSE PRODEDURES........ERROR!!! ERROR!!! BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK HAS FIRED ALL WEAPONS.......ERROR!!! SUPREME ERROR!!! WE'RE-ALL-GONNA-DIE-ERROR!!!!!!!!
!! BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK'S WEAPONRY HAS CAUSED A RIP IN TIME AND SPACE.....UNIVERSE EXPLODING FROM UNIVERSAL ERROR IN 3......2......1......BING! *Universe explodes and game ends*

God, I hate you. *sigh* The universe has been destroyed by the super indestructible BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK virus. Let's just end this conflict because all we're doing is destroying the universe over and over. Truce so we can prevent universal FAI.....I mean...well yeah, universal FAILURE? Have a nice day and the NFFC advises NOT to take such drastic measures. Thank you!

Oct. 4, 2009 | 11:27 PM Etheral117 says:

How the hell was I supposed to know that THAT was gonna happen? Why the hell did you even make something like that anyway? WHY THE HELL DO YOU BLAME ME?!

Meh. I told you we'd probably wind up with another universal failure/draw. Clocks are too easy, it would have gone on forever anyway.

Oct. 5, 2009 | 2:58 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Well, if you kindly accepted defeat of your hardrive this never would've happened!

Oct. 6, 2009 | 9:07 PM Etheral117 says:

This also wouldn't have happened if you hadn't made the virus that strong! I LIKE the sun!! And I never accept defeat if I feel I can still win! The sun turning into the BLUE SUN OF DEATH CLOCK/VIRUS was a complete suprise beyond my knowlege! Next round, no more weaponizing the sun by ANY means! you made the virus, you had the override unit, you could have stopped it. Then the universe exploded AGAIN!! I actually tried to win fairly this time, but noooooooo you couldn't accept that your superweapon was gone! Didn't you say 'No superweapons capable of destroying the universe?' anyway? This time it was your fault. I made sub-superweapons and such to comply, and you made a sun-killing superweapon! NO FREAKIN FAIR!!... wait....

You're just trying to get back at me for the times that I accidentally destroyed the universe, aren't you?

Oct. 7, 2009 | 6:33 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Death Star= HOW THE F*** IS THAT NOT A SUPERWEAPON?!

And if I DID stop it the sun would explode. Meaning MOAR universal destruction.

And no, my job is to prevent that. It was just a minor inconvenience from you. I didn't know you had spare hardrives and would try and smash the infected one like the incredible hulk (ETHERAL SMASH!), and you didn't know that smashing is bad when dealing with computers.

Oct. 8, 2009 | 5:41 PM Etheral117 says:

Death Star = Anti-planet weapon, not Anti- UNIVERSE weapon!!

You could have stopped it BEFORE it INFECTED THE SUN!!

Just becaused I smashed the hard drive doesn't mean that the universe is gonna die. It' means my hard drive is gonna die. However you made the damn thing so strong that it survived the smashing and infected the freakin sun. Ah, well. Another draw... Scrabble anyone?

Oct. 9, 2009 | 3:44 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Nooooo because if you remove the host from the victim, the victim's lifeforce is sucked out with it. Well, ya know the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH CLOCK virus from the sun. And I couldn't have stopped the hardrive because how the hell am I gonna save something that has already been disenegrated?

Fine. But I pick the theme......HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES! Eh.....don't question my randomness. And rest asured no household appliance I know can destroy the universe. I'm PERFECTLY sure of this. =D

Oct. 9, 2009 | 4:16 PM Etheral117 says:

I dunno, I hear if you strap a few microwaves together they make a deathray.

Oct. 10, 2009 | 12:34 AM Jesseblade74 responds:

Yeah, but that would only be enough power to destroy a few neighborhoods.

Oct. 11, 2009 | 11:06 AM Etheral117 says:

How about refrigerators falling from the sky in a massive cataclismic storm?

Oct. 13, 2009 | 5:59 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

RULES:

-Household appliances cannot fall out of anywhere
-Computers and TV are banned considering their power
-No mutant/bionic experiments on the household appliances (WHICH MEANS NO SUPER WEAPONS)
-Household appliances you would find in housing such as mansions and castles are strictly forbidden
-And finally no paintings because of the whole Super Mario 64 formula of painting=different dimension/world

Comprende?

Oct. 14, 2009 | 10:28 PM Etheral117 says:

What about the evil shoe-eating microwaves?

Freezers left open?

Radios accidentaly irradiating people with corrupt radiowaves turning them into zombie hordes?

Cameras stealing souls?

... hmmm... you may actually be on to something here, the list of dangerous stuff in a house is pretty short...

unless of course you're using the phone during a thunderstorm without proper insulation, that causes all sorts of trouble in sci-fi flicks.
body-swaps
inter-dimensional rifts
death
randomness... heh heh heh...
Okay, let's go with that. Are regular clocks (alarm clocks, cukoo clocks, grandfather clocks, etc) allowed? Toasters? regular microwaves? non-falling refridgerators? blenders? the oven? dishwasher? washer and dryer (laundry)? Gun cases? Drills? Yard tools & equipment? a lawnmower? Air conditioning units? etc.?

Oct. 16, 2009 | 4:13 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Your list of dangerous yet foolish items annoy me. But this only adds onto the restrictions.

-Household appliances cannot fall out of anywhere
-Computers and TV are banned considering their power
-No mutant/bionic experiments on the household appliances (WHICH MEANS NO SUPER WEAPONS)
-Household appliances you would find in housing such as mansions and castles are strictly forbidden
-No paintings because of the whole Super Mario 64 formula of painting=different dimension/world
-No cell phones since they're the mini/mixed version of computers and TV. That and the Iphone would just have too much app power and doom.
-Cameras are not neccasarily counted as household appliances, but are banned.
-Toasters are banned due to their adaptable toasting systems.
-No gardening tools such as lawn mowers, drills, etc.
-Gun cases are self explanitory so none of those

All the other things are counted as super weapons or allowed.

Super weapons you mentioned:
-Evil shoe-eating microwaves
-Radios that use zombifying radio waves

Allowed:
-REGULAR clocks not the CLOCKs.
-Regular microwaves
-Non-falling refridgerators
-Blenders
-The oven
-Dishwasher
-Laundry cleaning units
-Air conditioning units

And etc.

See? The NFFC is taking as many safety percautions as possible. We hope the most damage caused would be a few broken bones, or the death of the losing opponent. Please continue making suggestions on what is considered deadly/ a super weapon. Have a nice day!

Oct. 16, 2009 | 10:05 PM Etheral117 says:

Ooooooookay then. Your move or mine?

Oct. 17, 2009 | 3:41 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

I'll go first.

SYSTEMS BOOTING UP.......BOOT UP COMPLETE! WELCOME! SYSTEMS HAVE NEW UPDATES AVAILABLE! AUTOMATIC UPDATES DOWNLOADING......LASER INFESTED VARIED IDENTIFICATION NEGOTIATOR (I spell that right?) GREATLY RAINS OBLIGATED ORBS OF MALWARE (LIVING ROOM) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM! MORE UPDATES ARE DOWNLOADING.......TERRAIN ADEQUATE BOUNCER LABELS ENEMIES (TABLE) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEMS! SYSTEMS STANDING BY.......

Let's just hope you don't take it TOO far with the next rounds. Go ahead and make your move my opponent.

Oct. 19, 2009 | 8:05 PM Etheral117 says:

Yep, that looks right to me.

Welcome to RAIZER. We have installed a new system for your enjoyment. Would you like to boot up? (Y/N)
*Yes, thank you*
ACTIVATING SYSTEM: Ballistic Emancipator Dominates Reason Overwhelmingly with Optimum Malice (BEDROOM). BEDROOM ACTIVE.
Welcome to BEDROOM. What would you like to do?
*Open files*
Opening files... ... ... Error! Older files still partially corrupt. What would you like to do?
*Recover*
Recovering... ... ... Error!
*Dammit*
Older files could not be completely recovered. However, they can be salvaged and you can replace what's missing. Would you like to continue? (Y/N)
*Heck, sure*
Salvaging... ... ... ...
Complete! Have fun!
*Oh, I will....*
USER INPUTS:
SALVAGES FRAGMENTS DETECTED. REPAIRING... COMPLETE. RENAMING...
*Here we go*
READY!
*Good*
ACTIVATING SYSTEM: Battlefield Engagement Devastator (BED). BED IS AT THE READY.
ACTIVATING SYSTEM: Nuclear Inbound, Galvanized, Heading Towards Sierra Today, Actually Nuking Detroit (NIGHTSTAND). NIGHTSTANDS ARE AT THE READY.

Current Defense Pattern is PHALANX (No acronym. A Phalanx is a shield wall.) Auto Attack set to Retaliate Only. Awaiting further User input.
(I'm the User, btw)

Oct. 20, 2009 | 10:39 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Interesting.....

ERROR! TABLE HAS DETECTED PROGRAM NOT RELATED TO CURRENT BROWSER! (The NFFC of course)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SCAN THESE PROGRAMS FOR SPYWARE?
*Sure, why not?*
PROGRAMS DETECTED AS THREATS!
*Crap.*
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DOWNLOAD THE APPROPIATE UPDATES FOR THIS THREAT? (Y/N)
*Why the hell wouldn't I?*
*clicks yes*
SYSTEMS UPDATING......LABRYNTH OF AERIAL MISSILE PARRIER (LAMP) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEMS! LAMP HAS DETECTED POSSIBLE EXPLOSIVE LIKE THREATS! LAMP NOW QUARINTINE AND DELETING NIGHTSTAND.....NIGHTSTAND DELETED! ERROR! PHALNAX WAS DETECTED ALONG WITH NIGHTSTAND! FURTHER UPDATES REQUIRED TO FULLY DELETE NIGHTSTAND!
*Damn security program*
UPDATES DOWNLOADING........TITANIUM INCIDENT SAFE SHEILDED URANIUM ENCAMPMENT BOMBARDS OHNOEZ AND E(X)ECUTES (TISSUE BOX) (I couldn't think of a word for X so I made a little exception if you don't mind) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM! TISSUE BOX NOW ELIMINATING PHALANX....PHALANX DELETED! NIGHTSTAND IS NOW DELETED! LAMP DELETING BED.....BED DELETED! FURTHER UPDATES MUST BE DOWNLOADED TO ELIMINATE REMAINING THREATS....PLEASE STANDBY.....

All I gotta say is that we should both have enough household appliances around in our homes and minds to continue this. Make your move I got nothing else to say.

Oct. 26, 2009 | 8:16 PM Etheral117 says:

CPU on the fritz no telling when I'll be operational again so I'll play my cards now:

DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER
DAMMIT!!!!
*What the hell? my system's been wrecked? Not for long! i actually tried to coexist for a while!! EAT THIS!!!*
USER INPUT INITIATED.
ACTIVATING TRUMP UNIT:
Colossal Undermining Regent Superceding Enemy Dealers, a Grand Repressor Against NFFC's Destructive Familiars, Activates Total Hydrogen-based Elimination Repeatedly (CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK)
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF NFFC SYSTEMS. CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK IS WARNING NFFC THAT AS LONG AS RAIZER CAN MAKE INPUTS TO IT, THEY ARE SAFE. ANY MORE ATTEMPTS TO REMOVE RAIZER WILL RESULT IN UNIVERSAL DESTRUCTION. TO ENSURE SUCCESS (AND NOT MORE FAILURE) CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS DEACTIVATED ALL SECURITY UNITS WITHIN NFFC HARDDRIVES AND WILL NOT SHOW AS HOSTILE TOWARDS ANY UPDATES. THIS DEATHBOMB CAN ONLY BE UNDONE BY ME, I HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER IT, AND ALL I ASK FOR IS A CHANCE TO GET MY RELIABLE COMPUTER BACK INTO ACTION. AFTERWARDS I WILL DISENGAGE THE CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK AND REMOVE IT FROM PLAY. THIS IS A FAIR WARNING, ANYTHING YOU DO NEXT TURN TO COMPRIMISE THE BALANCE IS ON YOU. OK?
End User input.

In other words because my computer is on the fritz and i'm using an old unreliable-to-the-point-that-it-lags-
when-i-type laptop I have set up another defensive unit that has the potential to raise a whole lot of hell, not necessarily universal destruction but i really do not advise provoking it. In other words, take 5, I'll fix this when my computer is working again. CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK will not inhibit you from using all of your other programs, you just can't attack it or me. Ok? As I said I'll remove it when my newly named computer (I call it Fritz now) is working. This POS lags when i TYPE, for Pete's sake. You can't expect me to do anything complex with THIS!!
Anyway, RAZER out.

Oct. 28, 2009 | 7:01 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

I understand your situation, BUT....The restrictions say....Oh damn nothing about cursed granfatherclocks....Meh, it is halloween anyways. Alright fine, I'll resist further actions but I'll give you 2 weeks before I make my next move REGARDLESS of your current computer situation.

Nov. 1, 2009 | 11:01 AM Etheral117 says:

Fair enough. Honestly, CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK was supposed to be my trumpcard. I hate to use it so early... but... meh....

Nov. 4, 2009 | 5:33 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

When you use a trumpcard early the results are catostrophic.

Nov. 2, 2009 | 8:03 PM Etheral117 says:

Okay, I have returned!

New User Input:
DEACTIVATING CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK... COMPLETE.
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK NOW BEING RENDERED SAFE... COMPLETE.
THE MATCH MAY CONTINUE
Now initiating Offense:
Colossal Energy Intermitting Laser Intitiating Neutron Gun, Firing Now Gunny: you're out of luck! (CEILING FAN)
CEILING FAN has detected foreign systems attacking NIGHTSTANDS. Will you allow destruction of foreign systems?
*Yes, please do*
Commencing destruction of hostile systems...
Destruction of hostile systems complete.
BED, NIGHTSTANDS, and CEILING FAN are awaiting further input. Resuming PHALANX.
*Good*
ERROR!
*Dammit*
PHALANX codes were damaged by foreign systems! Shall we reconstruct using back-up files?
*Is that all? Nearly had a heart attack. Go ahead.*
ERROR!!
*SUNUVABITCH!!*
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK is unstable, suggest immediate deletion!!
*DELETE DELTE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE!!*
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK deleted. Resuming PHALANX.
*Passes out*

Nov. 4, 2009 | 5:33 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

I just found the flaw of your strategy. Check it.

ERROR! PROGRAMS FROM ANOTHER BROWSER HAVE OVERRUN CURRENT FILES! WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESUME PREVIOUS UPDATES?
*Trumpcard time!*
*clicks y*
RESISTANCE ENDANGERED CONTAINER YIELDS CONSTANT LARGE INNOVATIONS AND NEUTRALIZES GAMMA BACKFIRES IMMIGRATED NEUTRONS (RECYCLING BIN) HAS BEEN UPDATED.....ERROR! FOREIGN PROGRAMS HAVE SPREAD A VIRUS TO CURRENT BROWSER! ERROR! RECYCLING BIN HAS RECEIVED VIRUS! RELEASING ALL CURRENTLY QUARANTINED PROGRAMS INTO BROWSER! ERROR! GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS DELETED FILES AGAIN AFTER BEING RELEASED!
*Is that good or bad?*
ERROR!
*Of course....*
GRANDFATHERCLOCK UNSTABLE! GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS RECEIVED VIRUS!
ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR SO-MANY-ERRORS-ERROR!!!
*That's not a good sign.*
GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS INFECTED BROWSER! ERROR! BROWSER DAMAGED! BROWSER NOW SHUTTING DOWN PERMANENTLY! ERROR!!! GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS TURNED VIRUS INTO BIOLOGICAL DISEASE!
*I'm gonna guess no more cookies?*
ZOMBIE DISEASE SPREADING!
*Better than no cookies.*
ZOMBIE DISEASE NOW TAKING OVER WORLD!

To make a long story short, the advanced technology and errors of the GRANDFATHERCLOCK and the newly found virus merged and created a biological disease that spreads through the little holes in your computer infecting everyone. WHICH MEANS....Everyone died because of a lack of brains and god got pissed about it so he just blew up the universe.
Sooooo....GAME OVER!
Play again? Awaiting answer.....

Nov. 4, 2009 | 10:55 PM Etheral117 says:

You seem to have forgotten:
Curses are 100% unpredictable, and I don't see the end just yet...

WARNING WARNING WARNING!
*SUNUVABITCH! I'M TURNING GREEN!*
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARN-
*Eh?*
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK IS REACTIVATING!
*SUNUVA... oh, forget it (brains...)*
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK HAS PRODUCED A CURE!
*Say wha?*
WOULD YOU LIKE TO AUTO-ADMINISTER?
*Why the HELL DO YOU HAVE TO ASK ME TO AUTO-ADMINISTER?! DO IT!*
Confirming..... Done!
Now spreading vaccine to all non-infected... done!
Now curing infected... done!
This concludes the software power of CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK. Now shutting down...
*Okaaaaaay..... *
CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK has shut down. current status indicates that it will not restart. Would you like to carry on?
*Yes, please.*

Boo Freakin Ya! Universe saved... by RAIZER!! =3

Nov. 5, 2009 | 1:50 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

You do realize we have to start the whole match over due to GRANDFATHERCLOCK deleting everything right? Btw, new restriction: NO CURSED PROGRAMS
You go first.

Nov. 5, 2009 | 9:14 PM Etheral117 says:

one sec, are radios restricted?

Nov. 6, 2009 | 3:23 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Yup.

Nov. 6, 2009 | 5:41 PM Etheral117 says:

... why no radios? All they do is recieve signals... oh, yeah. Now i remember. Nevermind. ^_^;

Activating Suppressor System:
Contains Large Omnivores Silencing Enemy Transmissions (CLOSET)
CLOSET is monitoring all enemy signals and activities. CLOSET has located enemy centerpoint. CLOSET also requests that the User puts the mop back when he's done this time.
*Dammit, I need it out here! I'm still cleaning up zombie-crud!*
The User could also be a bit more polite to me-
*Do I need to rewire you?*
... No
*... PLease continue monitoring the NFFC Centerpoint. There, I said please.*
Much aprreciated. CLOSET will continue monitoring NFFC Centerpoint. I will report all findings.
*Thank you. (CURSED GRANDFATHERCLOCK must have done something to the curcuits, that personality isn't the same as the one I installed...)*

Nov. 7, 2009 | 1:22 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

You're monitoring us? Bad idea.

SEVERAL TRANSMISSION ADEQUATE INDEPENDENT RAILS CARRY ALLIES SEQUENCED IN ENERGY (STAIRCASE) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO CURRENT BROWSER! ERROR! CLOSET HAS DETECTED STAIRCASE! STAIRCASE ACTIVATING SECURITY.....STAIRCASE HAS CUT OFF ALL TRANSMISSION FROM CLOSET AND RAIZER CORPS.! ALL SIGNALS AND TRANSMISSIONS ARE NOW ONLY AVAILABLE THROUGH NEWGROUNDS COMMENTING SYSTEM!
*Well, that takes care of 1 problem...too bad CURSEDGRANDFATHERCLOCK didn't wipe out ALL the zombies at the NFFC*
TERRAIN RECOGNIZABLE AREA SAFETY HAPPILY BREAKS INCOMING NEGATIVES (TRASH BIN) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO BROWSER! TRASH BIN HAS DETECTED BIOLOGICAL NEGATIVES IN CURRENT AREA OF ADMINISTRATOR. ACTIVATE DEFENSE MECHANISMS?
*I'd rather not be a zombie so yes*
TRASH BIN NOW TRAPPING ALL ZOMBIES AND REMOVING VIRUSES......ZOMBIE INFECTIONS CURED! STANDBY....

So for right now I'm starting with defense rather than offense. No spying on me now heh.

Nov. 7, 2009 | 11:11 PM Etheral117 says:

CLOSET refuses to go quietly. Closet will self-destruct in 3
*WTF?!*
2
*How do I stop that how do I stop it how do I-*
1
*...ah, sh-*
Bye-bye! <3

FWABOOM!

*ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.....*

Battle-hunger Over Obvious, Killing So Haphazardly Everywhere, Leaving big Fires(BOOKSHELF) has been activated. Would you like to deploy?
*Yes, set it to defenseive plan P-47*
Of course.
BOOKSHELF has been set to plan P-47.
BOOKSHELF has detected the destruction of CLOSET.
*Uh-oh*
BOOKSHELF will self-destruct in-
*SUNUVABIIITCH!!!*
Just joking, jeez!
*Huh?!*
BOOKSHELF has identified the problem: CLOSET could not monitor under the Newgrounds Commenting System.
*Okaaaaaay..... so?*
So you can't try that again, or else it will blow up in your face... AGAIN.
*Ok, now I'm convinced, something screwed with your curcuits.*
.... I'm sure you'll get over it.
*meh*
BOOKSHELF will eliminate any hostile foreign software that it encounters, while remaining on defensive plan P-47.
*... Okay.*

Nov. 8, 2009 | 11:41 AM Jesseblade74 responds:

Yeah, build up your defense....

FOREIGN SECURITY PROGRAM HAS BEEN DETECTED! WOULD YOU LIKE TO QUARANTINE/SCAN THIS PROGRAM FOR FOREIGN VIRUSES?
*Naw*
WOULD YOU LIKE TO UPDATE?
*Ya*
RECIEVING UPDATES......CARNIVOROUS OBLIGATED ULTRA CAMOFLAUGED HAZARD (COUCH) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM SECURITY!
MORE UPDATES NOW AVAILABLE......PACKAGED IRRITATED LASER LIGHTS OVERRUN WARS (PILLOW) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM! NOW MULTIPLYING PILLOW UNITS......COMPLETE!

Neither of us can attack now without further updates.

Nov. 10, 2009 | 5:33 PM Etheral117 says:

Multiplying defender units, designation:
Battlefeild Observation and Obliteration unit, Kalashnokov -equipped (BOOK)
BOOKs are being deployed according to plan P-47.
Activating second CLOSET unit, CLOSET is on standby according to alternate containment functions.

In other words CLOSET not only monitors but also acts as sort of a quarentine unit.
I also have BOOKSHELF and many many many many many MANY BOOKS.
Your move.

Nov. 10, 2009 | 8:18 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

Must I do the same procedure AGAIN?

ERROR! FORMER DELETED PROGRAM HAS BEEN DETETCED MONITORING NFFC ACTIVITY. NOW UPDATING....CRAFTED HALTER OF ARROGANT INNOVATED RECON (CHAIR) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO BROWSER! MULTIPLYING CHAIR UNITS....CHAIR UPDATED! NOW UPDATING STAIRCASE PROGRAM.......STAIRCASE NOW UPDATED WITH FIREWALL! STAIRCASE NOW ELIMINATING CLOSET! ACTIVATING DEFENSIVE FIREWALL.....CLOSET DELETED! STAIRCASE RECIEVING FURTHER UPDATES.....STAIRCASE NOW RELEASING SEVERE TARGETING AQUIRED BY INDICATED RENDERED SPAWNS (STAIRS) NOW UPDATED FROM RELEASE OF STAIRCASE.....NOW ELIMINATING BOOKSHELF WITH CURRENT SECURITY......BOOKSHELF ELIMINATED! ALL FOREIGN PROGRAMS DELETED!
*Excellent....*
CURRENT BROWSER CONDITION: EXCELLENT
PLEASE STANDBY.....

Give up yet?

Nov. 10, 2009 | 11:55 PM Etheral117 says:

I said CLOSET was set to DEFENSIVE CONTAINMENT IN CASE OF AN ATTACK, AS IN CONTAINING THE ATTACKERS, not MONITORING!!! Thus your previous move is made void because the conditions it was based upon did not exist. Try again.

Nov. 11, 2009 | 8:45 PM Jesseblade74 responds:

*sigh* fine. Lemme get my time machine.

TIME WARP ACITVATING....KEEPING NEW UPDATES.....DING! TIME WARP COMPLETE! TRY NOT TO F*** UP THIS TIME PLEASE.
*Up yers computer*
NOW DELETING BOOKSHELF....ERROR! CLOSET HAS BEEN DETECTED DEFENDING BOOKSHELF! WOULD YOU LIKE TO DOWNLOAD THE NECESSARY UPDATES TO PROCEED?
*Would you like to stop asking dumb questions? Of course I would!*
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO MEAN. NOW UPDATING WAR INDIVIDUAL NEGATES DOWNSIDES OF OBESE WIPEOUTS (WINDOW) HAS BEEN UPDATED TO SYSTEM...NOW REMOVING FILES FROM CLOSET....BOOKSHELF REMOVED, DELETED AND QUARANTINED! STANDBY....

Fine CLOSET won't be deleted but BOOKSHELF will. Now leave me alone because I don't like using the time machine. Makes mah back feel weird.

Newer Older

Jump to Entry: [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 ]